The life of an expatriate is often portrayed as a continuous sequence of adventure, cultural discovery, and envy-inducing social media updates. However, beneath the surface of the "global nomad" aesthetic lies a pervasive psychological phenomenon: the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). For expats in 2025, the pressure to maximize their time abroad while simultaneously maintaining deep connections with their home country has led to unprecedented levels of burnout and "decision fatigue."

In response to this, a powerful psychological shift has emerged: JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). Far from being a trend of isolation, JOMO is a deliberate, research-backed approach to mental well-being that prioritizes presence over participation. This article explores the science of JOMO, the specific stressors facing modern expats, and practical frameworks for reclaiming autonomy in a hyper-connected world.

1. Defining the Landscape: FOMO vs. JOMO in the Expat Context

To understand the value of JOMO, we must first dissect its predecessor, FOMO, and how it uniquely affects those living outside their country of origin.

1.1 The Anatomy of FOMO

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) was first defined in academic literature by Przybylski et al. (2013) as "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent." For expats, this manifests in two distinct directions:

Host-Country FOMO: The pressure to visit every landmark, attend every local festival, and say "yes" to every invitation to avoid "wasting" the international assignment.
Home-Country FOMO: The anxiety stemming from seeing friends and family back home hit milestones (weddings, births, gatherings) without them.

1.2 The JOMO Paradigm Shift

JOMO, a term popularized by entrepreneur Anil Dash and later explored by psychologists like Dr. Svend Brinkmann, is the antithesis of FOMO. It is the emotionally intelligent choice to be content with where you are, regardless of what others are doing.

Feature	FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)	JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)
Primary Driver	External validation and social comparison	Internal values and self-regulation
Emotional State	Anxiety, inadequacy, restlessness	Peace, gratitude, intentionality
Social Media Use	Passive scrolling and comparison	Intentional connection and "digital detox"
Decision Making	Reactionary ("I should go")	Purposeful ("Does this align with my goals?")

2. The Expat Burnout Crisis: 2024-2025 Data

The necessity for JOMO is highlighted by the rising rates of burnout among global workers. According to the Expat Insider 2024 report, approximately 42% of expats report feeling a lack of social support, and nearly 30% struggle with work-life balance in their new environment.

2.1 The "High-Performance Expat" Trap

Many expats are "Type A" personalities—driven, ambitious, and accustomed to high achievement. When these traits are applied to leisure time in a new country, it results in "Leisure Sickness." Research indicates that the psychological load of constant cultural adaptation (acculturation stress) consumes significant cognitive resources. When an expat adds a demanding social calendar to this load, the result is often emotional exhaustion.

2.2 Social Media and the "Highlight Reel" Effect

In 2025, the digital landscape is more fragmented yet more invasive than ever. Expats are often caught in a "Digital Pincer Movement":

LinkedIn/Professional Networks: Pressure to show "global leadership" and professional success.
Instagram/TikTok: Pressure to show an idealized version of their host country (the "Permanent Vacation" myth).
WhatsApp/Family Groups: Constant reminders of the life they left behind.

A 2024 study published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology found that expats who spent more than 3 hours daily on social media reported significantly higher levels of "perceived social isolation" compared to those who practiced digital minimalism.

3. The Psychology of JOMO: Why It Works

JOMO is not merely a "vibe"; it is rooted in established psychological theories that facilitate long-term resilience.

3.1 Self-Determination Theory (SDT)

Developed by Deci and Ryan, SDT suggests that humans have three innate needs: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness.

Autonomy: JOMO restores autonomy by allowing expats to say "no" to social obligations that do not serve them.
Competence: By focusing on fewer activities, expats can actually master local languages or skills rather than having "surface-level" experiences.
Relatedness: JOMO encourages deep, 1-on-1 connections rather than broad, shallow networking.

3.2 The Paradox of Choice

Psychologist Barry Schwartz’s "Paradox of Choice" posits that having too many options leads to anxiety and regret. Expats in major hubs (like Dubai, Singapore, or Berlin) are bombarded with choices. JOMO acts as a "choice architecture" filter, reducing the cognitive load by pre-deciding that not participating is a valid and joyful option.

3.3 The Neuroscience of "Unplugging"

Constant notifications trigger the brain's ventral striatum, creating a dopamine loop. JOMO facilitates a return to the "Default Mode Network" (DMN) of the brain—the state associated with creativity, self-reflection, and long-term planning. For an expat, this DMN time is crucial for processing the "culture shock" and integrating new identities.

4. Implementing JOMO: A Strategic Framework for Expats

Moving from FOMO to JOMO requires a tactical approach. Below is a step-by-step framework designed for the overwhelmed expat.

Step 1: The Values Audit

Before you can enjoy missing out, you must know what you are making room for.

Exercise: List your top three goals for your time abroad (e.g., learning a language, saving money, career advancement).
The Filter: When an invitation or opportunity arises, ask: "Does this move me closer to my top three goals, or am I doing this to avoid feeling left out?"

Step 2: Digital Boundaries (The "Analog Hour")

Research from the Digital Wellness Institute (2025) suggests that "micro-detoxes" are more effective for expats than long-term retreats.

The 8-8 Rule: No social media before 8:00 AM or after 8:00 PM. This prevents the "Home-Country FOMO" that occurs when checking updates from different time zones right before bed.
Notification Audit: Disable all non-human notifications.

Step 3: Practicing "Slow Integration"

The FOMO-driven expat tries to see the whole country in the first six months. The JOMO-driven expat practices Slow Integration.

The "Same Cafe" Strategy: Instead of visiting a new neighborhood every weekend, visit the same local cafe five times. This builds real community (Relatedness) and reduces the "tourist" anxiety.

Step 4: The Power of the "Positive No"

William Ury, co-founder of the Harvard Program on Negotiation, suggests the "Positive No."

Structure: Yes! (to your own priorities) -> No (to the request) -> Yes? (a potential future alternative).
Example: "I’m focusing on some much-needed rest this weekend (Yes!), so I won't be able to join the hiking trip (No). But I’d love to grab a coffee with you on Tuesday (Yes?)."

5. Case Study: The "Lisbon Burnout" and the JOMO Recovery

In 2024, a study of digital nomads and expats in Lisbon—a primary global hub—showed that 65% of participants felt "socially exhausted" by the sheer volume of meetups and events.

The Subject: "Sarah," a 32-year-old marketing executive from New York, moved to Lisbon. Her first six months were a blur of "FOMO-led" activities: surfing lessons, weekend trips to the Algarve, nightly networking dinners, and constant Instagram posting.

The Result: Sarah experienced high cortisol levels, poor sleep, and a feeling that she "didn't actually know Lisbon."

The JOMO Intervention:

Deleted Instagram: For 30 days.
Saturday "Do-Nothing" Days: Reserved Saturdays for reading in a local park, specifically ignoring group chats.
Local Language Focus: Swapped three networking events a week for one intensive Portuguese class.

The Outcome: After three months, Sarah reported a 40% increase in life satisfaction (measured via the SWLS scale) and felt a deeper sense of belonging in her neighborhood than she had during her "busy" phase.

6. Advanced JOMO: Existential Contentment Abroad

Beyond social scheduling, JOMO touches on the existential reality of the expat life. To live abroad is to accept that you are always missing out on something.

6.1 Embracing the "Path Not Taken"

Every choice to live in Country A is a choice not to live in Country B, and not to stay in your Home Country. FOMO is the refusal to accept this limitation. JOMO is the radical acceptance of it. By fully committing to the present moment, the "ghost lives" you could have lived lose their power over you.

6.2 JOMO as Cultural Respect

There is an ethical dimension to JOMO. Expats who are constantly chasing the "next big thing" often treat their host country as a backdrop for their personal brand. JOMO allows for a quieter, more respectful observation of the host culture. It moves the expat from a "consumer" of culture to a "participant" in community.

7. Common Misconceptions and Critical Perspectives

While JOMO is highly beneficial, it is often misunderstood.

Misconception 1: JOMO is Antisocial

Reality: JOMO is about quality over quantity. It is the "Joy of Missing Out" on the wrong things so you can be fully present for the right things. A JOMO-practicing expat may attend fewer parties but will have more meaningful, deep conversations when they do show up.

Misconception 2: JOMO is a Sign of Depression

Reality: While withdrawal can be a symptom of depression, JOMO is a proactive and joyful choice. Depression is characterized by a lack of interest (anhedonia); JOMO is characterized by a high interest in one's own chosen peace and activities.

Misconception 3: You'll Lose Your "Expat Edge"

Reality: Many expats fear that if they aren't "hustling" socially, they will miss career opportunities. However, 2025 workplace data shows that "Deep Work" and emotional regulation (both fostered by JOMO) are higher-value skills in the global economy than mere networking.

8. Summary and Key Takeaways

The transition from FOMO to JOMO is the hallmark of a "mature expat." It represents the shift from being a spectator of one's own life to being the intentional architect of it.

Key Takeaways for the Overwhelmed Expat:

Acknowledge the Load: Cultural adaptation is cognitively expensive. You cannot maintain a "home" social life and a "host" social life at 100% capacity.
Audit Your "Shoulds": If an activity feels like an obligation ("I should go to that rooftop bar"), it is a candidate for JOMO.
Prioritize Depth: One deep friendship or one mastered local skill is more valuable for long-term integration than fifty "contacts."
Protect the Morning and Night: Use digital boundaries to prevent "comparison traps" across time zones.
Celebrate the "No": Every time you say no to something that doesn't serve you, you are saying yes to your own mental health and presence.

As we navigate the complexities of a globalized world in 2025, the most luxurious thing an expat can possess is not a first-class ticket or a high-rise apartment—it is the quiet, unshakeable joy of being exactly where they are.

References & Authoritative Sources

Przybylski, A. K., et al. (2013). "Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out." Computers in Human Behavior.
Brinkmann, S. (2017). "The Joy of Missing Out: The Art of Self-Restraint in an Age of Excess." Polity Press.
InterNations. (2024). "Expat Insider 2024: The Year of Uncertainty." [Official Report]
Schwartz, B. (2004). "The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less." Harper Perennial.
Digital Wellness Institute. (2025). "The State of Digital Health in Remote and Global Workforces."
Herman, S. (2024). "Acculturation Stress and the Modern Nomad." Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology.
Ury, W. (2007). "The Power of a Positive No." Bantam Books.